My Take On Current Events

My take on current events and what I have learned. I was answering someones question about fighting the currents happenings, and one CPT Moroni from the Book of Mormon. And how to fight the current situation. The problem is that we are not fighting an army. An army is easy because you can see them, you know they are there. What is happening now is of secret combinations. It has been brewing since before 1920. This is the plotting and planning of decades. Remember when CPT Moroni was out fighting battles with Lamanite armies and the kingmen took the government out from under the people. That is what we have, secret kingmen infiltrating the government for the last 100 years. Slowly, ever so slowly. As to not be noticed. They slowly bought the government, placed down laws to give themselves power. Power is in who controls the money. A government without money has nothing. The power is in banking, if theycan manage to own all banks, put in an intricate web so no one knows it’s the same group of people, that is power. So they take all the big money, but just a small group. They form a sort of banking guild. Then they go after the governments, how? With money, countries need money to run. So they borrow it from banks, but how to make a government pay you back for sure? You fund their enemies. If one country gets out of line you pay someone to start a war. You enact a bill called the federal reserve bill, and the bank owns the federal reserve. Then when they have the governments they crash wall street and cause a depression. But of course they know they are going to do it so they sell out first. Then when everyone is broke they buy it all pack really cheap. Now to end the depression you start a war. They pay an overzealous, power hungry, poor boy to wreck havoc on the world. They just went from rich to far richer. They buy Presidents, congressmen, Kings, Parliaments. They use war to up the debt of all countries, money borrowed from their banks. They get billions in interest alone. They create tax laws but make sure they write in loopholes only they know about. This helps put their competitors out of business. Their secret guild has slowly bought up every bank, every big business in one way or another. Now they are not just rich, they own the money. Everyone has to come to them. And the best part is no one knows who they are but the social elite, and those willing to believe in the conspiracies. They own the media, so they tell people only what they want them to know. Their main goal is a socialist/communist world they control. They have done it buy owning the money, not just being rich but owning the money. Now that they have the governments wrapped in their scheme, and their people in office they go after everyone else. How? Debt, when your in debt you are beholding to someone else. A lot of people balk at the idea of the “elite” owning everything and us nothing, the great reset. Thing is it has already happened. Credit cards, mortgage payments, car payments, direct deposits. We own nothing, when we pay off our houses, we still don’t own them. We have to pay property tax, we have to register our cars. If we don’t pay them they can take everything away, using the government as cover. At the push of a button they can leave us homeless and broke. So what do they not have power over, our daily lives. So the orchestrate a crisis, a virus, panic and fear. They have been rigging big government and elections for decades. So they pay some scientists to mutate a virus and release it on the people. Step 1: fear
Everyone is scared to be sick and die. They use the media and officials like Fucci to hype it up. A few million in the bank ought to do it. Never in medical history have we tested healthy people for an illness. Never in medical history have we worried about asymptotic spread. Now don’t use the worst most contagious viruses, no pox family viruses. It’s not population control, it’s for fear and panic.
Step 2, riots, paid rioters
Come up with something to riot about. Blow it up. Fear and chaos.
Step 3, let the people see a rigged election, we own congress and the Supreme court so we can do what we want. Cause division in the public. Let the people fight the people. Cause distrust in the government. More riots.
Step 4, the virus gets worse. It mutates. The vaccine stops working. Death rate goes up. Riots get worse. People fear to go outside. They create vaccine cards, change passports to require more information and special permissions to travel outside their country. Eventually produce so much fear the people ask for martial law. Then they control your everyday life. All the while attacking family, equal rights in the form of pushing equal rights for minorities. Eventually taking away the right to worship, because that’s offensive to those who don’t believe in God. Push that button, another depression. Countries need a bail out, the great reset.Now they rule financially and physically. The plan started a long time ago. How can people fight what they can’t even see happening? President Benson warned people and told them to read, None Dare Call It Conspiracy.The people who knew about it tried to tell people but no one wanted to believe it. Now they laying down their sledgehammer. And we have no way to fight it, one everyone wants to blame the current puppets. No one wants to admit that the big monies behind it even exists. How do you fight a shadow, especially when they already own you, your house, everything.Your money is in their bank, when they push that button we all will be left with nothing and the world will turn on Christianity and the government. The people will ripen in iniquity and God will create Zion for the righteous. The righteous will be removes to Zion and God will send the plaques of the last days out on the secret combinations. Like President Nelson said, we live in the later part of the later days. Our only defense at this point is our faith and prayer. That is the only way they have left us to fight. Satan is making his move through the elite rich and their thirst for money and power. Then God will make His and reign down judgments. All this will take time, so far they have been working it for at least 100 years. They are very patient but America is ready to fall. That is what they have been waiting for. Unfortunately we don’t have a CPT Moroni in our government, and not enough people heeded the warnings when their was still time. Now our only save haven will be when God makes Zion. And that is the awful state of our situation. And why President Nelson says the greatest and most important work right now is gathering Israel, gathering all those with enough and strong faith to build a Holy city to protect the righteous. So there you have it, that is the truth.I don’t know if you will chose to believe, if you do read the book, None Dare Call It Conspiracy, as President Benson recommended.Learn so that you know what is actually going on.Then fight it with your faith and in spreading the gospel, right now that is the only way left to is to fight it.The secret combinations already own the government and have for some time. Remember that we have been told in the Book of Mormon that the days before Christ came is a likeness of the last days.Remember the gadiaton robbers took the government then the government fail.They all broke up into tribes and had to defend their own, until the coming of Christ.We have hit the point when our government is ready to fall. We all need to be prepared with very strong faith, food and water storage. Study your book of Revelations. Start with the sixth seal because that is where we are at right now, we need a big earthquake, the 144,000, Zion, ripening in iniquity when the saints will be persecuted and some will be martyrs for Christ.The stars will fall, the moon turn to blood and the sun blacken. Then the saints will stand and praise God,those who have waded out of great affliction and had their garments washed in the blood of the lamb.The affliction is coming and after the tests of faith then the great blessings.That is why things are happening now, and how they are happening and who is behind it.And how it will end, the timing of course is in Gods hand.

A Glimpse

My testimony after hearing President Henry B Eyring at the conference of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Later Day Saints. This talk hit me as no other talk ever had. These were my thoughts after.

As I sat there listening tears of joy were streaming down my face. I have felt this overwhelming happiness in my life many times. It’s a happiness beyond all description. I felt this happiness first after I gave my heart to God. I had a mighty change of heart at the age of 19. It didn’t completely come over night but it came in many steps. It came through dreams of warning given to my mother for me. It came through personal experiences as well. The first time I felt the Holy Ghost, I didn’t even know what it was in the moment, I was 16 and at a friends house. We had got back from a night of raving and drugs. We got to her house and just crashed. When I woke up I had an overwhelming desire to return home. It was so strong that I couldn’t ignore it. It was so strong that it wiped out my desire to live that life anymore. To me the life had been fun and adventurous, thats what I wanted, fun. As far as I was concerned I was having fun. It was only in the quiet moments when I was alone that I felt sad, lonely. This pushed me to stay away from home as much as I could. With friends, drinking and drugs I felt powerful, I felt invincible and I was having a grand adventure. Until that moment when that desire came and consumed me, I never went back to that friends house again. I never did any drugs again. It was so powerful that I didn’t even have withdrawals. I had been doing drugs for two years, just that night I had mixed some sort of laced mariguana with a couple of doses of acid. I should have probably been dead, but somehow I wasn’t. My mom had already told me that she had seen my death and that if I didn’t stop thats where me future was headed. So God sent the Holy Spirit to intervene in answer to my mothers many pleas. She spent many nights pacing and praying for me in the Living room, I didn’t know it at the time, this overwhelming feeling was in answer to those prayers. It wasn’t my faith that saved me, I didn’t have any nor did I want any. I didn’t change completely in that moment. The complete change happened a few years later. Again one day an overwhelming feeling and desire to stop doing what I was doing came over me. I threw my pack of smokes out the window one day on my way to my Aunt Bettys house, again no withdrawals just overwhelming peace and assurance that it was the right thing to do. I joined my mother at church from that Sunday on. I cleaned up my act in every way possible. A month or so later I started to seriously date the man that would eventually become my husband. He was preparing to go on a late mission, he had been a bit lost as well as a teenager. So I had to wait for him for two years. It was a wonderful two years of growing and learning. In this two years I felt a connection to my Heavenly parents like I had never felt in all my life. I not only felt the love of a wonderful Father in Heaven but of a loving Mother in Heaven as well. During this time God blessed me with a set of dreams that taught me many precious things. I walked in my dreams with Satan, it was a feeling of fear that was equally beyond description. I could not in that moment nor could I now ever deny the existence of a devil or his desire to make me miserable like unto himself. The very next night I walked in my dreams with my Savior himself, i was not permitted to remember what was said or what He looked like, without a doubt though I knew who He was. The feeling of pure joy consumed my every being. Anything could have happened it that day and nothing would have pierced through that happiness. I cannot even to this day deny that I have a Savior who loves me and has forgiven me of all my sins,every one!! The mighty change of heart came and I have and will never be the same person that I once was, I owe my life to a mother of faith, like the mothers of the stripling warriors, To a Father and a Brother who knows me and loves me, who cared for me even when I didn’t care at all!! After two years of prayers, church attendance and faithful tithe paying I entered the temple with my earthly Mother on one side and my Heavenly Mother on the other. Knowing they were both there was a feeling I will never forget!!!! I walked out of the same temple a few months later with my husband by my side. God promised me I would be happy and blessed with a strong son of God and He kept that promise!! He also said many children would enter my home, this to is a promise that has kept. God also chose to take some of my children back home, Kolob was especially hard for me in the moments when I was hoping God would chose to save him where particularly hard. After I told God that I accepted that He needed him home I was again filled with the overwhelming peace and happiness, a joy beyond words. Only with this peace and joy was I able to burry my son, only with my faith and the knowledge I had that families are forever could I leave his body there in the ground. I felt my son happy, I knew then and I know even now that he is in Heaven a missionary furthering Gods work in the Spirit World. Kolob was a gift to me that I might not have ever received if I had walked away from that first feeling to change, he would have never been my boy. It may seem odd to some to call that a blessing but it was. He is mine forever, my angel and my beautiful boy. He is also Gods as well, His missionary in Heaven saving and teaching many souls, Many of his brothers and sisters in need of this joy and this peace. Most recently we lost another baby, I was so angry. I forgot about all these blessings, how easily we forget when consumed by anger and emotions. In that moment though it was brought to my mind the very story of Joseph Smith that was said in this talk. The part that came to me was, this is but a small moment and if thou endure it well thou wilt be exalted on high. I don’t think getting angry was exactly enduring it well, but God was reminding me to have faith and it would all be ok. I also felt this deep peace and joy when my mother passed just a little over a year after my baby Kolob. I was blessed twice to see her filled with joy and happiness, running through a field of flowers with long flowing hair. She looked so young, so full of life and so happy. And again the day of her funeral when she sat beside me and laughed as my husband was chasing our son up by the pulpit. She apparently found it very funny and her Joy and humor filled my soul so completely that I was laughing, even at my mothers funeral. I know they are all together and they are all happy. Hearing this talk brought all these times and moments in my life when I have felt that indescribable joy and peace, even love. I am far from perfect, I still get angry, hurt and have a hard time with trials but God always finds away to remind me of the many many times He has stood right there and blessed my life, changed my heart and given me everything I ever desired in this life. I am full, complete and so overwhelming happy!!!! I wish I could take a piece of what I feel right now and share it with everyone on this planet. I wish I could take a drop of my oil of faith and pass it around to everyone. I would never wish my hard life on anyone, a lot of it from my own bad choices, I would wish, I do pray that someday everyone everywhere can feel this same joy and peace which at times has so fully consumed my very soul and heart. Never could I ever turn my back on my Heavenly Father again, or my Savior, I have been saved and changed through the love of my God and my Savior. As well as the love of a mother, a mother with powerful faith, never underestimate your job or the power of your prayers for your children. It took ten years of my mom prayers, fasting and faith!! She will always and forever be a special person in my heart. The way I feel about her for the sacrifices, the love and the many prayers she sent up for me, I cannot begin to describe. God knew I needed her as my mother in this life. I wouldn’t have made it with anyone else!!! Everything in my life has been a blessing from a God who loves me, cares for me, knows me, fought for me and wants me to return to Him and be happy. I am filled with Love at this moment for my brothers and sisters here on this earth fighting right now, don’t give up and know that no matter what God calls you to go through it is but a small moment and if you endure it well you will be exalted on high. This is my testimony in the name of my Savior Jesus Christ. Amen May God fill your soul with peace, happiness and joy!!!!!!

Feeling Gods Peace In Trying Times

This peace I have felt many times in my life! The last three years have been really hard for my family. We had a beautiful baby boy we named Kolob Angel. I was in the temple contemplating on his name and felt that he would be very close to God. I wanted a name that would tell the world that he was special.A name that would shout his closeness to God. It instantly came to me that Kolob is the closest physical place that we know of to God. The angels are the closest beings to God and so it was at just 29 weeks pregnant he became Kolob Angel. He had a rough start being born early with pneumonia and spent 9 days in the NICU. We had our Kolob for three glorious months the God took him home. There was no warning, he was happy, healthy, playing and then he was gone. I knew that my prayers would not help but I prayed anyway. I stood there on the life flight platform and could feel my son standing by me. I couldn’t see him with my physical eyes but I knew he was there. He was a grown man, taller than myself, he was holding my hand as we watched them load his little body on the helicopter together. I knew though that even God could still fix it. I told God you can fix this just put his spirit back. I knew though even then that he wasn’t going to make it, I was not ready to accept it though. They settled him in the PICU at Primary Children’s Hospital. They did blood work and a brain scan, telling us there was no brain activity and his blood work did not look good. I watched and prayed over my baby. As I sat there I spoke with God in my mind. God reminded me that He to had to watch His son suffer and die and He did it because He loves us and He loved Him. My son started to bleed out of his eyes, mouth and nose because his blood no longer had the ability to clot. It was in this moment that I accepted my son would die. I had already watched the Drs and nurses try endlessly to get that little heart beating, in those moments I sat on a chair looking very calm while on the inside I was screaming, shaking, throwing everything around a room in my mind, screaming endlessly. When I accepted he was going home and I told God it was ok if He took him back, that I could also sacrifice my son to the will of God that I felt at peace. They unhooked my boy and laid him in my arms. Where me and his father said our last goodbyes. He never took a single breath and within minutes his hear stopped. We did not receive the miracle we wanted that day but we did receive peace that surpassed all understanding. I also learned that God had a plan for the life if each of His children. We all have our own life line and sometimes that line is very short and sometimes very long. God told me that Kolob was to be a missionary in the Spirit World and that was his life plan from the beginning. Just a little over a year later God took my mother home. My mother was a walking miracle. She got breast cancer at the young age of 36. They did surgery and thought they got it all. A year later it came back. The Drs gave her a 10% chance to live five years. She had 5 kids, two of which were grown and three, 1,4,5. She fought and she prayed and pled with God to spare her lifelong enough to raise her children. God told her it was her time but she prayed and she pled with Him to live. She lived over 30 years after that cancer. She lived to see that one year old boy with kids of his own. At the age of 70, after many health issues to include a stroke, MS, and other age related issues she was diagnosed with radiation poisoning and then leukemia induced from chemo. After 18 months at the age of 71 she passed into the next life. Again I felt a great peace and I knew she was happy. I saw her running through a great field of flowers with her hair flowing behind her and filled with more happiness than I can even describe. At her funeral with my many children I was very sad, frustrated that my small kiddos could not find it within themselves to behave for Grandmas funeral. My three year old got away from us and ran up on the stage. I was furious and embarrassed and just wanted to experience the funeral in peace. In the moment when my anger was at its worst I saw my mother sitting on the bench beside, laughing. She was intently watching my husband trying to catch my son. She was laughing and so filled with joy and her feelings ran into myself with such potency that I found myself instantly laughing, my anger melted away and for a small moment enjoyed a piece of my mothers joy. It was amazing and indescribable the way it just filled me up and took over my whole being. I was again at peace. Just a few days ago Heavenly Father took another baby home from us, this is our 4th angel baby. I had prayed that baby here with all of my soul. I had done everything physically possible to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy but it was not to be. I found myself angry, angry at God for taking yet another baby. Angry at God for taking my Kolob and my mother. It was a moment when I forgot everything I had ever learned or felt. All those precious moments were gone from my mind and I was filled with rage. How could God do this to me again and again, why would He ignore my prayers and my pleading every time I felt it was most important?! Why was He always taking everything from me, where were my miracles when I wanted them the most!? The anger was all consuming and I could think of nothing good, no prayer He had answered, no time I was blessed. For a couple of days I was angry. Then a few nights ago we sat down to scripture study with our 9 surviving children. We talked about kindness and love, how God blesses us for these things. Without realizing it I started talking to my children about blessings. How God blesses us for each righteous choice we make. I said that God blesses us and we never even realize we are being blessed. He may take away an illness before we even get sick, a tumor before it is noticeable, maybe He made us late one day to keep us away from an accident. How many times in our lives has God blessed us and we don’t even realize it to say thank you or to be grateful. I felt ashamed for being angry at God for not giving me what I wanted and for forgetting all the wonderful things He has done for me. For letting one moment of sorrow consume all the blessings and all the happiness a loving Heavenly Father has given me and blessed me with for so many years. We tell our children all the time that life sometimes cannot go the way we want it to. That also applies in our spiritual lives, things cannot always end the way we want. This is a mortal world and we are living a mortal life. Which means living with illness, disease, death and sorrow. All these things cannot be taken away no matter how much we pray for it and want it to be so. I grew even more while sitting with and teaching my children. In that moment all the times that God blessed me and filled my soul with happiness came flooding back into me. I remembered all the answered prayers, the peace and the joy I have been so blessed with. No, God will not make our life perfect, He will not take away the tears or the death. He will however apply the soothing balm of the Holy Ghost and remind us of how wonderful life can be!!! He truly will in all situations speak peace to our soul if we can but let go of our anger and our hurt. In 3 years I lost 4 children, both my parents and my last grandparent. Found out my SIL is fighting stage 4 breast cancer. Life is never going to be perfect, its never going to be without disease and death. God has given us the power and tools, the strength, to carry on and live each day. Not even just to live each day but to truly find happiness, pure joy and to love each day of this mortal experience. God lives and He loves us!!!! Truly we can find His peace everyday in our lives, He will pick us up, dry our tears and give us strength to not just carry on but to carry on with a joyful heart.

Help For Angels and Mommas

I want so much to give back some of what I received when my got suddenly passed away at three months. I started a group called Jade For Angels. I want to raise funds for unexpected funeral and other expenses parents have when they loose a baby or a child. I can’t do it alone though I don’t have the funds. I sell Jade Bracelets in an effort to raise these funds. The bracelets are $20 a set. 10 will go to keeping the program alive by buying the Jade for the bracelets. 10 will go toward a family in need. I will also take donations of real Jade in any color or donations to put away to help moms in need. My dream for the future of this is to start a nonprofit organization focused on Angels and their mommies. Nothing can make the pain go away but not having to worry about money or being sad because you cannot afford a stone for your child’s plot. Or a nice Urn for their ashes. I want mommies to be able to say good bye to their babies in whatever way they choose without having to worry about money. This is my dream but I need help to make it a reality. So please drop by Jade For Angels on Facebook and help us spread the word!!https://m.facebook.com/groups/1237136506409218

Kolob’s First Birthday

Today is my Angels first birthday. Usually for our children we have a small family party for their first birthday, with the grandparents. It’s a joyous and happy occasion. We are celebrating first steps, first words. They are starting to run and play with their siblings and other children. They are always so cute and fun at this age. On this day though we spent our celebration at the cemetery. Just me and my husband with our 8 other children. There were no first steps, no first words. There were no mommas or daddies for the first time. No smash cakes or birthday wishes while candles were blown out. There were only memories and silent hidden tears as we tried to celebrate a life gone to soon. 

     We took cupcakes and had balloons. Each balloon had a message on it from us to Kolob and we released them to float high up to Heaven. My 3 year old, Malachi, asked me were baby Kolob lived. He answered his own question by stating that baby Kolob lived in the flowers. The flowers that we take to his brother every couple of weeks. He then asked if baby Hadassah, our three week old baby girl, was going to stay with us. He said he didn’t want her to have to leave too. It’s amazing to me how much his siblings remember him and how much they love him. 

 Matias loved most the releasing of the balloons. He still talks about how Kolob got to see them in Heaven. They each enjoyed writing a special message to their brother. 

     Not a day goes by that he isn’t thought about and talked about. He has been in Heaven for 8 months now. Sometimes it seems like so long ago and other times it seems like time has just gone by so fast. I can remember the day he was born and the feeling of sorrow as they took him away to a different hospital.  I hated all those days he was in the NICU. Looking back now I am grateful to have those peaceful times there where it was just me and him and I sat and held him for hours. Those are wonderful memories to have. I can remember the excitement of bringing him home. How much fun it was to take pictures of him and just cuddle him and watch him grow. His siblings loved holding him, they even helped feed him and change his diapers. There are a lot of wonderful happy memories to look back on and cherish everyday.

          I will also never forget finding him blue and lifeless. Trying desperately to get his little heart back to beating. Trying to comfort my children as they took him away.  My heart was shattered and I felt like I could explode at any moment. In my mind I was running and screaming, I was tearing apart at the core of my being. When they loaded his little body onto the life flight helicopter I could feel my son standing beside me holding my hand. I knew at this moment his spirit was no longer in his body, but I wasnt ready to accept that he wasn’t going to make it. God, I said, you can still fix this you can put him back and he can be ok. It wasn’t until hours latter sitting beside his hospital bed watching him bleed from his eyes, mouth, nose, because his blood had lost all ability to clot, it wasn’t until that moment that I finally accepted he was not going to make it.

 In this moment all the screaming, rage, and exploding with in myself came to a pause and peace filled my being. I knew that God wanted him home and that it was really going to be ok.  It was in this moment, this peace that surpasses all understanding, that I became the most grateful for the knowledge the gospel had brought into my life. The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. The knowledge of a life after death and families being together forever. The sealing keys that bind us as a human family to each other and bind us in our families to live forever in a Celestial world. Knowing that Kolob is alive and well, enjoying a happiness beyond anything we can feel here. My sorrow is deep but my joy is full and my blessings are beyond number. Happy Birthday sweet boy of mine!! You are loved and missed desperately but we know that you are happy and doing Gods work even now.  We can’t wait to meet again!!!!!

My Mom and Trials

These are pictures of my mother. She is a strong, brave woman. That has fought more battles in her life than most people do. Amazingly she has won all her battles even when modern medicine has told her she would not. God has answered many prayers and sent many blessing on the path of the life of this wonderful woman. Some great blessings though are hard to see as such. Sometimes the blessings sent to us are seen as trials and hard times. It’s not until after the trial is over that one is blessed to see the blessings inside of it. God has seen fit to pick a time to call this glorious woman back home. She has one last battle with Leukemia, one with which she cannot win. When thinking of death I can’t help but to think of life. For they are so intertwined and interconnected together. Birth is but a step where we travel from one home to another. Death is also simply a step in which we travel from one place to another. A grand adventure in the path of life, going on to another place to see what awaits us there. When someone you love passes on to the next side they always take a piece of you with them, a piece of me is already in Heaven with my son. It’s amazing though the peace and comfort that our Father in Heaven can give to us when we are going through the sorrows of this life. There are amazing things awaiting us in the next realm, like the ones who go on before us. My mother only has a short time left to walk this mortal realm but so many things to look forward to in the next. A small twinge of jealousy from me, she will get to see and be with my Kolob before I do. We must all wait until are appointed time though and I still have much to do. May God speak peace to all our souls as she leaves us and travels and may her grand adventure continue on and may she accomplish the mighty works for which God surely intends for her to accomplish on the other side!!! Until then we will try to enjoy whatever time God blesses us with. Love you Mom!!!!

How do I care for so many kids?

I have had a question posed to me many time. The question is, how do you do it with so many kids. There is more than one answer to this question. First my faith pulls me through. My payers help me everyday, I receive rejuvenation when I go to church every Sunday and when I visit the temple, The House Of The Lord!!! The second answer to this question is my support system, my husband!!!! I couldn’t do it without his loving support! I couldn’t stay at home with my kids if he wasn’t willing to work so hard and support our family. He is a good God fearing man who loves is family. He treats me like a Queen, and I in turn see him as my King. He is good with our kids he plays with them and watches them when momma needs to get away for a little bit. He scrubs toilets, changes diapers, feeds babies, even cooks sometimes. He runs kids to lessons and scouts, and always comes when I need him!!! He gives me blessings when I am sick and stands beside me for every labor, as I squeeze off his arm during contractions. He changed every diaper on our first baby for a month!! I had a hard recovery after my first baby. He makes the bed when he is here in the morning, he lets me volunteer at the school. He lets me spend more money than I ought too, he lets me know he trusts me everyday. He makes me feel save, loved, and able to do anything!!! This is how I am able to hold myself together everyday, not just with the loud, crazy, happy chaos of a house of 8 kids, but also just through the everyday life. He is more special to me than the day we married and I look forward to that bond strengthening and carrying us through an Eternity together. I would be nothing without my King and he nothing without his Queen and this is as it should be. Together we can get through anything!!!

Death is not to Fear!!!!

Through my life and throughout experiences in my life, not the least of which was the passing of my baby, I have learned a superb truth. I would like to write it and share it. Death is not a thing to be feared but a step of eternity in which to find joy.

This does not mean that we should look for death to find us, or take our own life. This does not mean that we should sit in a corner and pray for death. We must still live our lives to the fullest extent and fulfill the missions for which God sent us to this world. Some people will fulfill their mission  as an infant others will take a persons whole long life. Only God can decide when our mission has been completely filled and we are ready to enter our eternity. We cannot decide this ourselves, mostly because we have no knowledge of Gods plan for our life. We don’t know when we have fulfilled our duties here.

Death is but another step in the eternity of our existence. It is simply the act of walking from one place to another, walking through a door if you will. That is what birth is, a journey from a our celestial home to this mortal realm.

We are all sent here for a divine purpose, one of which is to learn, then we continue in our journey. Death isn’t even the last step of our journey, it’s more in the middle. People who die don’t simply cease to be. They go to a world for spirits. A place of learning and teaching. A place to wait for the Saviors second coming. An event that even the dead will share in and rejoice in.

A lot of people look at death as the ending of life. When a person ceases to be. When death is actually just a step in the grand plan of our Heavenly Father. Your Spirit, what actually makes you you, is  eternal and never dies. Your spirit will once again be untied with your body, in the day of resurrection.

I believe that we will find that when we die our thoughts are still our thoughts. Our personality is still the same. Our desires for light, truth and knowledge, or our desires for darkness, sin and lies, will all be there after we die. We will not suddenly be a different person. Truly we will be the same. All appetites, desires, challenges, love, hope, faith, will be the same. Our thoughts during death will be our thoughts after death. Our desire for good or evil will continue to be our desires after this life. This is why it is so important to choose who we want to become in this life. That’s why we have this life. To develope and refine who we truly want to be. For truly the winner of this battle is already known the only thing that is not known is which side of the field you are going to be on. Which side do you fight for, good or bad. There is no in between. Your are on Gods side or Lucifers. We are not perfect beings, but heavenly beings, children of the God, come here to learn. When we trust in Him and have faith in His words the sting of death is gone and we can look forward to living with God again. The choice is yours, the choice is mine. Which home do you want to call Eternity. Death holds no sting!!!! For truly in it we can rejoice. We are sad because we loved those that have gone on before us. We can also find happiness in our righteous brothers and sisters who have passed their test and gained knowledge so they can proceed to the next steps of eternity.

Truly God has left us a road to victory. It is simply up to us to find it and take it, then never leave it!!!!! 

Can you die for someone you love?

In church yesterday there was a question asked,”would you die for someone that you love?”

         I am shy enough in big groups that I do not always say what I would like to say. I have an interesting perspective on this question. 

        Many years ago, through a dream, God taught me about death and its imapact on us. In this dream I died. I was killed trying to run from evil. That interesting part about this dream was the death. When I died I realized not only was I still very much alive but very much me. Even to the point that I finished the thought process I was having when I died. As I died I was thinking to myself, how dare he kill me. The sentence was started before death and ended after death. Through the dream I learned that the intelligence that is us remains, in the whole part, still us. I was still me in every way. Every rebellious and snide remarking part of me was still intact. My personality was still very much the same. Our bodies that we live in here on earth truly are not who we are. The essence of our being continues on. This has continued to be taught to me after the passing of my son. The knowledge that he is very much alive and living the life that God has planned for him has been given to me.

            Now for the question, “would you die for someone you love?”  It is a very easy thing, when in distress as a parent, to want to take that away from your child. If someone were holding a gun to your child’s head I think any parent would jump in front of that bullet without any hesitation. Even knowing death holds no terror, I would still do it without hesitation. For my family in distress I would also do this. This is easy, to die for someone you love I find an easy question to answer. Now to die for someone you don’t love or know is a harder question. To jump in front of that bullet for a stranger, that I think you can only be answered in the moment. Some people would and some would not. 

      A harder question, in my opinion, would be, “Can you live without someone you love?” This is a much harder question. Sometimes people find it impossible to live without the person they love. Sometimes people choose to end their life or to simply not live their life. By not living their life I mean to sit in a chair and do nothing. I had a great Aunt who did this after her son passed. She wouldn’t eat, sleep,  live. She knew nothing of God or an after life. After living like this, and being very close to death herself, her son appeared to her and told her he was still alive and ok. After that she was fine and lived the rest of her days. To live without someone you love, especially with no knowledge of life after death, can be very difficult. Some find it impossible. 

        For me, after my son died the sprit of God was with me so strong that I could not even be sad. Now before he died, when we were trying to save him, I was devastated!!!!!! Watching him there on his bed affected my whole being. After he passed and I knew there was no hope, I was calm and happy. I knew where he was and what he was doing. To this day I have yet to shed one tear over his death, not of sorrow. I feel peace beyond words and a thankfulness for the knowledge I have been given. 

          To sum it all up, to die for my loved ones is easy, to live without my loved ones is only accomplished through the power and knowledge of God. I find death only sad when I know they do not believe in God. Life without God is truly the hardest thing one will ever have to do. I have replaced the word death, in my life, with they have traveled on. For surely this is truly what happens.  To die is easy to live is much more difficult!!!!

Excuses

As I am sure you are aware from my posts I believe in God. I believe we are all his children and that He looks after us and blesses us in this life. I also believe that all men, people, should be allowed to worship or believe however they wish. This is a core belief in my religion. You are even welcome to not believe in God at all. If you wish you can even believe that you walked out of the ooze of this world. I can’t say that I understand  this belief at all but you are welcome to it.

        This being said I want to point out one of the most illogical and ridiculous comments I have yet to read. So this woman is commenting on a Prolife advertisement. What she says is she doesn’t believe in God, she believes in science. She is a fan of the Big Bang theory, and supports the science behind humans walking out of the ooze of earth. 

  Like I said everyone is welcome to their own believe system, here is what threw me for a loop. She said she is all for abortion because she doesn’t believe in God so we are not accountable to him anyway. We are welcome to all do what we please on this earth, then we die and that’s it. So in her opinion murder is ok because you are not held accountable to God. According to this lady you can go out and do whatever you please, steal, lie, cheat, kill,rape, it doesn’t matter because God doesn’t exist. 

          My thinking is this, so you want to waste your one and only life doing all these horrid things, probably spend sometime in prison, just because you don’t believe in God. I don’t get it. Even if you don’t believe in God wouldn’t you be helping yourself to still be a descent person. Your life would be so much better, even without God, if you tried to live a good life. One full of accomplishments, love, compassion. Wouldn’t you want your years here on earth to mean something? 

      This is the classic excuse for being bad, I guess. Eat,drink and be merry for tomorrow we die, I don’t believe in God so we will all just cease to exist anyway. 

     I don’t speak for anyone but myself but I thought think this is such a waste of ones potential. So you don’t believe in God at least believe in yourself and your own potential as a human being. Try to make something of your life. Try to leave a positive mark on humanity, instead of spending half your life in a cell or encouraging people to be brutal. Believe, at least, in yourself!!!!!

        For the record I believe in Christ, He is my King. He is always there for me. I believe in God, my Father, I trust in and have faith in His love for me. Someday He will fix this crazy, insane world. One day we will all stand before Him and we will be astonished at His love and mercy for us all. Even those who do not believe, He will still be there arms outstretched and ready to embrace you with a love you have never felt. For He is truly merciful to all. May we treat all humans as His children even those who have yet to take a breath! These babies are most Precious and in a state of perfection. They want a chance to live, love, learn. We owe them this chance at life!!! Please let’s stop the insanity together. People everywhere, every religion or no religion at all, please protect the innocent. Let’s all come together if only for this one cause!!!