Our family has been through a lot of trials in the last three years. Our whole lives have fallen apart. Then this month was the worst month of my entire life. Yet I still feel so blessed and have a sense of joy and peace that is easy and yet hard to explain. Let me take you back three years from now.
I am living in an amazing house with my 6 beautiful children. My husband had an awesome job, he is a officer in the army. We have more than enough money, a huge savings and everything we need. Absolutely no debt. I was living the dream!!!!!! I had everything in life that I wanted and that’s when the first boom hit. My husbands unit was disbanded, because of government cut backs, and he was let go. He had the option of joining the reserves, which he did. We had to move from are home at Firt Riley back to where we were from. I was devastated. I had six kids to feed, we had no job and no house. To top it off I was pregnant with baby number seven.
My husband managed to secure a job after about 3 months of looking. It was a great company with horrible hours. The pay was, and still is, only about 1/3 of what we were making. I had to stop and hold my breath and count my blessings. We found a house, a job, and baby 6 was a healthy little girl. Life wasn’t perfect but it was good. Money was really tight but everyone was happy and healthy. My husband still worked bad hours for little pay but the company was a great one. We decided to buy a house. Come to find out we couldn’t comfortably afford what we wanted. So we settled on what we could afford.
The house is in a great neighborhood surrounded by great people. The back yard is a jungle, the electricity downstairs is wired funny, the sprinkler system was all broken, the bathroom plumbing was all messed up. To top it off there were dead mice. YUCK!!!!! So we had a little bit of a fixer upper. So we started fixing. We also found out baby 8 was on his way.
I started the pregnancy on bed rest, for episodes of bleeding. We received lots and lots of help and baby seemed good. I went into labor a month to soon and he was born with pneumonia. It was the worst day ever. My poor baby was blue. I didn’t get to hold him and snuggle him. I watched as they put him on a ventilator and shoved IV’s all in his little body. Then they life flighted him to a different hospital. I couldn’t even see him!
When I finally got to leave and rushed to the other hospital to see my baby, it was nothing short of sad. He had tubes every everywhere and I couldn’t even touch him. My poor sweet Kolob. He made progress fast though and was out of the NICU in 9 days. I felt very blessed again. He was a cute happy healthy, bouncing baby boy.
Life was still a bit hard. Money was really tight and my husband worked grave yards. I was one tired momma. I loved it though. It was always a nice challenge to add another baby. I live for busy and chaos. We had a great three months and sixteen days, until the worst day of my life.
I walked in and saw my baby lying blue and motionless on his blanket. I worked fast screaming as I went. I had to get oxygen in his lungs. I was breathing for him the best I could, trying to remember all my CPR training, everything kind of leaves your brain when your in a panic.
The ambulance arrived and took over caring for my son. While I held my terrified 10 year old daughter. We were both bawling our eyes out. At the hospital as I watched them work on my son I was falling into pieces. My whole body felt ready to burst from the sorrow and pain. Finally a flicker of hope, a tiny heart beat. They worked to prepare him for transport to the children’s hospital.
While waiting to board the life flight helicopter I felt my son standing beside me. He was taller than me and holding my hand as they loaded him in the helicopter. At this point I knew my son was no longer in his body.
I told God, hey you can still fix this. You can put his spirit back into his body. He started moving at the hospital and I got really excited. The Dr said it was just reflexes, like the occasional breath he took on his own. I watched my son in the hospital for hours from 7PM until 5:10 AM. I stood by his side or sat in a chair close to his head and I prayed, I prayed, begged, cried, pleaded, with God. I felt impressed to go to my son. At this moment he started pouring blood from his mouth, nose, eyes, and well everywhere. His body could not clot blood any more. He was brain dead, the Dr said. The blood work showed his organs were not functioning at all. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t watch him bleed to death. I started crying and exclaimed he isn’t going to make it is he. The Dr said no. They unhooked him and laid him on my lap, my little Kolob took his last few breaths in my arms. My sweet baby, 3 months and 16 days old, passed out of this life.
In three years my family has gone from great to good to horrible. God has given us trials that I never wanted to experience. Looking back at my life over the last three years I can see how I have changed and grown as a person. Through the last few weeks after my sons passing I have felt a peace and a happiness that I have never before experienced in all my life. I know that my Heavenly Father walked with me through each trial. He cried with me each time. He held my hand and He carried my through. He allowed my son to stand with me and support me through the experience of his passing. God has taught me many things. My faith in him and his plan have grown more in three weeks than in my whole life. I have a Facebook page where I have shared my family and shared the passing of my sweet baby. It was called The Wright 8 now it’s called Kolob Angel ( we love you). I just learned that over 56,000 people have read the story of my sons passing. I am so touched by this. Truly this is why my Angel passed through this life, so that he could touch the lives of so many people. That I, as his mother, could bear my testimony of a loving God.
In this life trials and tribulations come fast and hard like a hurricane. From three years ago until know my family had lost our job, home, savings, security, and now our son. Never before in my whole life have I had such a horrible three years and yet never before have I been filled with so much faith and hope.
We are all children of a loving Father in Heaven. We are heirs to his kingdom. He gives us trials to shape us into the children he wants us to be. He makes life hard, very hard, so we can be the best of what we are. The best of who we are. Trials last but for a small moment and if we endure it well God will exalt us on high. The greatest memorial for my son would be that his death would change even just one heart, to come closer to God!! It has changed my heart and countless others. His story and his name are now known through out the world. Tonight and tomorrow do me but one kindness, for my son, choose to come just a small step closer to God. Give a smile, a wave, or a service to someone. Help make someone happy, help them to feel their Saviors love just a little stronger. This will be my sons memorial!!
A stay at home mom 