Excuses

As I am sure you are aware from my posts I believe in God. I believe we are all his children and that He looks after us and blesses us in this life. I also believe that all men, people, should be allowed to worship or believe however they wish. This is a core belief in my religion. You are even welcome to not believe in God at all. If you wish you can even believe that you walked out of the ooze of this world. I can’t say that I understand  this belief at all but you are welcome to it.

        This being said I want to point out one of the most illogical and ridiculous comments I have yet to read. So this woman is commenting on a Prolife advertisement. What she says is she doesn’t believe in God, she believes in science. She is a fan of the Big Bang theory, and supports the science behind humans walking out of the ooze of earth. 

  Like I said everyone is welcome to their own believe system, here is what threw me for a loop. She said she is all for abortion because she doesn’t believe in God so we are not accountable to him anyway. We are welcome to all do what we please on this earth, then we die and that’s it. So in her opinion murder is ok because you are not held accountable to God. According to this lady you can go out and do whatever you please, steal, lie, cheat, kill,rape, it doesn’t matter because God doesn’t exist. 

          My thinking is this, so you want to waste your one and only life doing all these horrid things, probably spend sometime in prison, just because you don’t believe in God. I don’t get it. Even if you don’t believe in God wouldn’t you be helping yourself to still be a descent person. Your life would be so much better, even without God, if you tried to live a good life. One full of accomplishments, love, compassion. Wouldn’t you want your years here on earth to mean something? 

      This is the classic excuse for being bad, I guess. Eat,drink and be merry for tomorrow we die, I don’t believe in God so we will all just cease to exist anyway. 

     I don’t speak for anyone but myself but I thought think this is such a waste of ones potential. So you don’t believe in God at least believe in yourself and your own potential as a human being. Try to make something of your life. Try to leave a positive mark on humanity, instead of spending half your life in a cell or encouraging people to be brutal. Believe, at least, in yourself!!!!!

        For the record I believe in Christ, He is my King. He is always there for me. I believe in God, my Father, I trust in and have faith in His love for me. Someday He will fix this crazy, insane world. One day we will all stand before Him and we will be astonished at His love and mercy for us all. Even those who do not believe, He will still be there arms outstretched and ready to embrace you with a love you have never felt. For He is truly merciful to all. May we treat all humans as His children even those who have yet to take a breath! These babies are most Precious and in a state of perfection. They want a chance to live, love, learn. We owe them this chance at life!!! Please let’s stop the insanity together. People everywhere, every religion or no religion at all, please protect the innocent. Let’s all come together if only for this one cause!!!

Does The World Stop Turning?

I am driving down the street. I am looking at the people all around. They are laughing, playing, driving, cleaning, and all the other everyday stuff that people do in life. I am thinking how can the world keep on turning just the same this week as it did last week? How can people continue there everyday life? My life has just been crushed, my life complety shattered, by the death of my son.

Today was the day of me sons funeral. It was a beautiful and sacred event. So many family members, and friends that I haven’t seen in a very long time. I found myself excited and having fun. I was very excited to see friends and family that I haven’t seen in many many years. I could smile, I could have fun! I was at peace, then the broken heart came shinning through, I feel a little bit guilty for being happy.

After it was all over me and my husband went back to visit our son. There were lots of flowers and it was beautiful. After sitting for a while, I knew we would have to leave soon. I still have seven kids to care for after all. My first thought was, how can I leave him here all buried and completely alone. These moments are when my faith in God come shining through. He isn’t in that cold heartless hole, he is alive and working on the other side. This knowledge is the only thing that gave me power to leave him there. Oh how wonderful is the plan of our Father. How glorious it is to know that there truly is a life after death. I can’t imagine having to go through this with no knowledge of Gods plan for us. Today was the hardest day of my life, to look at me though you would have never known. The only answer for that  is my faith. My ability to lean on my  God and my knowledge of Him.

Today it is hard to imagine that the world is still turning. It’s hard to see people going about there daily life with no knowledge of my heartbreak. How does one simply continue without a piece of their heart? The only answer I have for this question is, let Heavenly Father and your faith feel the void left by your tragedy. Whatever in this life you might be going through now, death, divorce, money, infertility, smashed dreams, let God feel your heart and give you hope for the future! Let him help you keep your world turning!!  

Anger is not the answer!!!!

I have thought about the experiences of the last month, my son passing away. Over the past several years I have known many women that have lost a baby. From miscarriage, still birth, SIDS, sickness or accident. Some of these women have been very angry for a long time, some have managed to be happy. Some of this has to do with attitude and personality. Where as some had to do with religion or lack of a belief  in the  after life.

       Women I have known with no belief  in the after life,  when loosing a child, are often angry or so sad that they cannot live a normal life anymore. Where as the ones that have a firm belief in God have more hope for the life of their loved one.

       Through out my experience of loosing my son I have been very blessed in my grief. I have felt peace and even happiness. I have hope for my future and the future of my son. I have learned that being angry or asking why doesn’t help you to get on with your life. Being angry at God for taking your child only creates misery and woe for you and your family. 

      I feel so blessed that God has given me the strength and ability to be happy. The ability to go on with my life. The thing for which I am most grateful for though is the ability to look at other babies and be happy. I can have a friend over and not be mad or jealous that her baby is healthy and cute. I can still enjoy babies and children without anger and sadness. I have always loved children and babies and I still do!! I am grateful that a loving Heavenly Father has blessed me to keep a soft and happy heart. Happiness in every circumstance is achievable. I don’t believe we can accomplish this on our own. We have to have help, the help of a loving Father in Heaven, through faith and prayer!!!! With God all things are possible. Even true happiness in the face of bitter sadness and despair. Anger is never the answer to the trials and craziness of life. It brings down the spirit and saddens the heart. Our ability to cope disappears and we start to feel very alone.  There truly is only two ways to find happiness in the face of pain, that is prayer and faith. Through these we find hope and then knowledge. After that comes happiness and peace. If you do find life to hard to stand the best thing to do is kneel. 

A Grieving Mothers Letter

Kolob Angel Wright was born May 31 2016. He was born one month early with pnuemonia. He spent nine days in the NICU. Kolob is a very special boy. I choose the word is on purpose. He is not a was he is still an is. Even though his life here has come to an end his life is still very much happening. I have known for a very long time that Kolob was a special boy. I always felt he was very close to our Heavely Father, this is why Kolob was chosen as his name.Kolob’s destiny is to be close to his Father in Heaven. His middle name angel represents his spiritual closeness to God. This was the plan for him. He is now both physically and spiritually close to God. The plan for him here on this earth was to touch the lives and hearts of people and teach them about Gods plan for us, to live in eternity with families. Heavenly Father took Kolob home because he knew that that action would be the best way to teach and touch us all. He has now fulfilled his destiny in this life and will continue in the next. So many people have expressed their thoughts of the after life and heaven and how Kolob’s death has touched them and helped them to remember and ponder on God’s plan of happiness. I know very much, with all my heart, that Kolob is alive and well.  Not just alive but living, doing. He will accomplish many important callings on the other aside. Kolob has stood beside me and held my hand several times since his death. My heart and soul are at peace knowing he is doing God’s work and that he fulfilled his destiny here in this life. I will miss my boy very much. I will miss his smiles and laughter, he was just learning to laugh. I will miss watching him grow up and be pesty with his 7 siblings. I am calm as a spring morning. Only Heavenly Father can create such a feeling of peace and happiness. We can all feel such peace in our lives if we pray and try hard. Sometimes it does take a heart breaking faith testing trial to help us become as humble as we need to be to feel such peace. My faith in God and love for the plan of happiness have grown so much the last few days. I know that God lives, that he is actively living and working for our eternal happiness always. I can’t count the number of people his story has touched all over the world. Through my writing there are people who now know the name of Kolob. They know that his mother loves God and trusts in him. They now know that I know there is life after this world. There is never a was but always an is. People do not cease to be, the spirit is immortal. I truly pray that through his passing many hearts will be touched, and many testimonies will grow. This is his memorial, this is what we all can do for him. Stand up and trust in the Lord. Work to strengthen your faith and testimony. Remember the testimony of Kolob, that life goes on forever. His calling is to bear witness with his life that eternity exists for us all. He left us with the greatest gift anyone can give. More faith, more hope. In these trying days and crazy times God sent to us all an answer to our prayers for faith, strength, and hope. His name is Kolob and he will live forever. This is what Heavenly Father spoke to me and what he wants said today.

Written by Kolobs Mom

My Belief of Life, Before, Now, After

This article is mostly for my sister. We were talking about the events in our family that have happened the last couple of months. Two wonderful people have lost their lives in our family in two very different ways. For those who have been reading my blogs you already know about the passing of my infant son, Kolob. Before that my sisters brother in law also passed into the next life, exactly a month to the day of each other.

          I don’t believe in coincidence. Everything happens for a reason, in this case I really believe this happened for a purpose. In order to explain my view point and have it make sense I am first going to have to share with you what I believe about this life and the next.  

      First I believe that we lived even before we were born. We lived with a loving and kind Heavenly Father as well as a Heavenly Mother. We lived in a world with God and with each other as brothers and sisters. 

       Paint for me a picture in your head. Or go ahead and take a minute to grab a paper and pen. First draw or imagine a circle and label it Premortal life, this represents the life we lived with our Father in Heaven. This was before birth. Next write birth. And next to that Earth. This represents the life in which you now live. Then write Spirit World, this represents where you go when you die. Draw a line down the middle of the circle, one half is Spirit Prison, the other Spirit Heaven. Spirit prison is not Hell! It is a place to learn, a place where Gods children, who don’t know about him on this Earth go to learn about him. It’s not a prison in the sense of a prison on Earth. It is more like a school where people go to learn. Like a school some people will learn and some people will refuse to learn. This is before the day of judgement, a second chance to accept God and Christ in our lives. God will grant us every opportunity to save ourselves. Next on your paper or in your imagination write Judgment day. This of course being our day of reckoning with God. Now draw three circles, stacked on top of one another. These are three degrees of glory. The first being Celestial, or Heaven. The empty space represents Hell or Outerdarkness where the devil and his children reign. His children meaning his followers, rebels in Heaven, and the sons of Perdition, or followers of Satan, on this Earth. This is how I believe the plan for us is played out. Also known as ” The Plan of Happiness.”

       My son, Kolob, being an infant in death, has a secured place in the Celestial Glory. Any infant or small child that passes out of this life is awarded this great honor by our Heavenly Father. They died in perfection therefore there glory is Celestial. 

           We as adults are different than infants and small children. We have to choose right and prove ourselves to God, all of us falling short and being unworthy servants were given  the gift  of “The Christ,” or the son of God to atone for our sins. We have to accept this gift. We must open it and take part in it for it to apply in our lives. Now this brings me to the point of this blog.

      My sisters brother in law,who died, was an adult, he hadn’t made the best decisions in this life, like most of us, he committed some wrongs. He died without accepting the beautiful Gift of our Savior. Remember the Spirit World,and the line down the middle, one side being for those who did accept of the Gift of the Savior, and those like, Kolob, who died in perfection. The other for those yet to accept the Christ. Now remember this isn’t Hell, this is a school, a place of learning. So Christ, after his death, organized Missionaries in the Spirit World. Souls who are perfect or who accepted the Christ already. They become teachers to those who have not yet accepted of that gift. Kolob is one of these missionaries. Where as my sisters brother in law is one needing to be taught.

     My niece shared that she believed that Kolob and her Uncle where standing together watching our family. My sister,believing as I do, believe they are on separate sides of the line in the Spirit World. Upon contemplating on this idea I came to the conclusion that they are both correct. They are in two separate sides of the Spirit World, on the other hand my son, being a missionary, can travel back and forth between places to teach. This man, my nieces uncle, will be the first man to whom my son will share of the Gift and Kowledge of the Savior. To whom he has in these past weeks taught the words of Christ. It is his choice, just like here on this Earth, to accept these teachings or not. For you my sister, and my niece, truly Brad and Kolob have and are standing side by side. We all have reason to hope and continue to pray, not only for Brad, but for all who are in the Spirit World on the other side of the line, that their hearts will be fully changed in the Spirit World and they will accept that great gift the Savior has to offer. As well as come to know the love that God has for all his children that he loves so very much!!!!

The Branches of Life

This picture is on my wall above my bed. I am sitting in my rocking chair looking at Kolob’s wall, this is where I have hung his pictures and the pictures I was given after he died. I often sit in my chair and just think about my baby and remember him. This time I got distracted by this other picture on my wall.

          As I am looking at it I am imagining myself as the tree. The branches of the tree leaning towards both sides. On one side is light, truth and good. The other is dark, lies and bad. The branches represent the choices we make in this life. I think in general people strive to do good and to be good but all of us have those moments when we do something stupid, that we know we shouldn’t. So we all have branches, at least to some extent, on both sides. When we repent of what we do wrong those bad choice branches can be cut off. Where as the good choice branches can be strengthened and lengthened. 

         I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I like to believe in people so in turn they can be live in me as well. I believe we are all put on this Earth to learn and to grow. We all have branches on both sides, as far as choices, we don’t always make the right choice, but we all try. This is what God asks of us, to try. He will take care of those branches leaning in the wrong direction, if we choose to let him help. He will help us plant our roots deep in good soil so that our tree of belief is strong and doesn’t become diseased. We all struggle everyday we are here to help one another.  We can all help to prune our neighbors orchards so that their trees of life are strong and leaning in the right direction. Not one of us can travel through life alone and empty and survive. Let us all seek to help those trees around us, we don’t always have to agree in order to help and love. I have trimmed many a bad branch off my tree through out the years and I have added many good branches as well. 

          The passing of my son has created multiple very strong branches on my tree. There are many more branches of faith as well as friendship and love. May we all seek to strengthen other trees branches, and in return they will also strengthen our own.